Direct, decisive, determined, and domineering. These are just some of the words that describe a highly dominant personality. Everyone knows one. You might even be one. Dominant people are the leaders, the pioneers, the risk-takers. Companies are run by them, wars are led by them, and innovation follows in their wake. These are the people we look to lead us where we might not otherwise go. If you are lucky, you will work for one. If you are really lucky, their office will be in another state. Dominant people are the ones we love to hate or at least hate to talk to (notice that I did not mention listening as a strong point). Getting off on the wrong foot with one can sidetrack your career. Having them on your side gives you a strong champion. So, how can you effectively communicate with such a powerful personality?
Recognizing the Dominant Style
Dominant individuals exhibit strong confidence, which may seem like ego or bravado. They are results-oriented and typically make decisions quickly. They are very direct and assertive, sometimes even aggressive. Most have little patience for details or numerous questions. In a meeting, they will take charge (even if they’re not in charge) and drive the discussion toward their goals. Seeing several dominant personalities in a meeting can be instant if a bit bloody, entertainment! Some will temper the more difficult aspects of their dominant style with good people skills, but you will still feel the power underneath.
Seeing Life from the Dominant Perspective
Dominant people measure others by competency and directness. They look for confidence and see anything less as a potential weakness. Often, they “test” the confidence of others early in a relationship through some challenge. They drive themselves hard and assume others want to do the same. They tend to measure everyone by their yardstick of achievement. Problems are seen as interesting challenges to overcome, with risk being a necessary means to the end. They have little patience for resistance to change or lack of progress. Dominant individuals are perplexed when people take their assertive behavior personally; they certainly don’t intend it as a personal attack.
Dealing with the Dominant
For the Detail-Oriented Person
Communicating with a dominant person can be very frustrating if you are detail-oriented. They may get impatient with your questions and perceive you as incompetent because you need to ask them. You may only get high-level direction and feel uncomfortable filling in the many gaps left behind. Dominant people may not understand why you don’t make faster decisions or change direction more quickly.
Key Points for Success:
Keep your questions to a minimum. Focus on the big-picture questions and get your details from a different source when possible.
Be direct in asking for what you want and in stating your opinions. Focus your confidence on what you know rather than feeling the gap about what you don’t.
Understand that their strength and focus are on the bigger picture. Together, you make a fine team.
For the Outgoing People-Person
Dealing with a dominant type can frustrate your need to feel connected. They may see your people orientation as frivolity and not take you seriously. You may perceive them as rude and unfeeling. Meeting their expectations for specific results can be difficult, and an ego clash is a strong possibility.
Key Points for Success:
Be clear about the value you bring to the team/relationship. You can help build relationships and get things done through people.
When dealing with the dominant person, put your effusive personality on ice and understand their need to get down to business.
Aim to listen actively 50% more than you talk. This is tough for a people-person but worth the effort.
For the Quiet, Supportive Type
An hour with a dominant person can make you feel like you’ve just survived a train wreck! They may see your quiet demeanor as weak and ineffective. You might feel personally attacked by their direct approach. It can be very difficult to get them to listen to your perceptive ideas. They will have little patience for your need to control change and pace your work.
Key Points for Success:
Don’t rely on an avoidance strategy. Instead, plan for your encounter and fully prepare your words. Practice speaking out when you have a valuable contribution.
Know that you are how the dominant’s goals get achieved. Ask directly for what you need from them to be successful.
State your personal and professional boundaries clearly. Ask that they speak to you privately and in professional tones when there is a problem. Frequently remind yourself: “It’s not personal.”
Being an Effective Dominant
If you have a dominant style, you can achieve your goals more efficiently by being aware of your assertive approach’s impact on others. There are times when you can be more powerful by taking it down a notch. By adapting your approach to the situation, you will achieve your results faster.
Key Points for Success:
Listen more, particularly to the quiet ones. Some of your most intuitive and innovative people may be kept silent by the force of your personality. Make it safe for them to come out and play; you will have a bigger think-tank from which to draw.
Give your detail—and task-oriented people time to grasp your ideas. A bit of patience and support will result in a major return on your effort when they get up to speed. Remember that these people are the engine that implements your ideas. Detail and a solid foundation are their fuel.
See and use the value of those high-energy “people” personalities. They usually hate task-oriented detail as much as you do, so use them for what they are best at: motivating and getting people working together. They can help smooth out your rough edges!
Embracing Different Personalities
It takes all kinds of people to make the world go ’round. Embrace the dominant personalities in your life and learn effective ways to communicate with them. Together, you make a powerful team. By leveraging your emotional intelligence and fostering mutual respect, you can demonstrate empathy and navigate challenging situations and achieve a fair resolution that aligns with your organization’s objectives. Self-awareness and understanding different leadership styles can be a vital tool in mastering professional relationships and enhancing your executive presence.
Contact Bridgeline Executive Coaching to find out how executive coaching can help you develop a deep understanding of personality types, a leadership style, and communication skills to better manage personalities that have proven difficult for you or to set up a coaching session with Teresa Pool.
