The Moment That Changed Everything
When I was an oral surgery resident and serving in the military, I was hospitalized for a life-threatening illness in a hospital states away from anyone I knew. Alone, isolated, and deeply unwell, I came face to face with the possibility of dying. As I sat on the hospital bed reflecting, I had one of the most powerful, yet painful realizations of my life: none of my achievements or credentials could save me.
The feel of that moment has never left me. I had built a life centered around doing more, climbing higher, proving my worth. But on what could have been my deathbed, the relentless pressure to be successful—to be constantly productive—felt empty. What I really wanted was connection, meaning, and a simple life focused on what actually matters.
The Cost of Living Out of Alignment
Even that near-death experience wasn’t enough to change my behavior immediately. I returned home and went right back to work. That was the only way I knew how to live—by being useful, efficient, and high-achieving. I pushed through stress and ignored what my body was telling me. Like many professionals, I had learned that taking personal time was selfish, that resting equated to laziness.
In the year that followed, my health declined further. I saved face while internally struggling to manage the intense stress, exhaustion, and silent but steady erosion of my mental health. While I pepped myself up to show up and perform at my best, I kept hitting a wall—physically, emotionally, spiritually. The way I was living was not sustainable. I didn’t need more resilience or willpower, I needed to detach from societal pressures that led me to believe that my self-worth was dependent on hustling and achievements.
The Burnout Trap
The term “burnout” is often used to describe what I was experiencing, though I believe it was more of an existential and spiritual crisis. I had been awakening to the realization that so much of what we are sold matters in life- doesn’t. We are told that “We will be happy when…”, and the “when” never comes. We sacrifice our minds, bodies, spirits, and relationships for false promises. And for many—myself included—it goes unaddressed until something serious forces a pause.
What made it worse was thinking that it was just me and not seeing another way. At the time, I had no roadmap. No language for what I was feeling. No model of what it looked like to slow down and choose another way to feel valuable outside of the high-pressure, performance-driven environment.
The Turning Point
Out of desperation, I eventually turned to coaching. A group of physicians had mentioned its benefits, particularly for professionals on the brink of burnout. I was skeptical—how could more thought work after years of therapy change my life? But I was willing to try.
That decision was one of the most important turning points in my journey. Coaching became a safe space to explore who I was beneath the roles and responsibilities. It helped me build self-awareness and start asking better questions—about my values, my choices, and the way I wanted to live going forward. While I am an advocate for therapy, coaching leveraged my strengths and did not focus on what was wrong with me. It shifted my mindset in a different way, and I now see the value in doing both simultaneously as they support healing and empowerment in different ways.
From Awareness to Action
Real self-discovery is rarely convenient or linear. It requires courage to pause, reflect, and make changes that align with your inner self, especially when those changes go against societal messages about who you “should” be. Through coaching, I learned to examine the strategies that I was using to navigate life—many of which were rooted in fear, perfectionism, and a belief that I had to earn my worth.
I began implementing small but meaningful practical steps:
- Taking intentional personal time to rest without guilt
- Reframing success not as output, but as alignment with my values
- Practicing self-care as a necessity, not a reward
- Learning to set boundaries in both personal and professional spaces
- Creating achievable goals that honored both ambition and sustainability
These changes weren’t overnight miracles. But they helped me reduce stress, improve my mental health, and reconnect with a fulfilling life—one that feels true to who I am, not who I thought I had to be.
Why We Wait Until It’s Too Late
One of the most devastating realities I’ve observed, both in my own life and in others, is that we often wait for a breakdown before we consider a breakthrough. We wait until the stress becomes unbearable. Until our relationships suffer. Until our bodies force us to stop. Until we feel so lost we don’t know where to begin… or if we can keep going at all.
But what if we didn’t wait?
What if we gave ourselves permission to pause and pivot—not because we’ve hit rock bottom, but because we recognize that we deserve better? That we deserve to feel joy, to feel rested, to feel whole?
Reclaiming Your Life: What It Really Means
To reclaim your life is not about abandoning responsibility… it’s about not abandoning yourself. It’s about rewriting the rules you’ve been living by. It’s about tuning out the external noise long enough to hear your own voice—the one that’s been quietly asking for change all along.
It looks like:
- Embracing your imperfect, authentic Self with acceptance and compassion
- Living in integrity
- Aligning your life with your core values
- Reclaiming your agency and voice
- Setting boundaries and breaking free from people pleasing
- Serving a mission greater than yourself that brings meaning to your life
- Finding a community where you are valued for your authentic Self
The path home to ourselves is often turbulent and not meant to be traveled alone. Partner with someone who supports you with love, compassion, and non-judgment. It will likely not be easy, and it’ll be worth it.
You’re Not Alone
If any part of this story resonates with you, know this: you’re not alone. So many people—especially high performers—are silently struggling. They look successful on the outside but feel empty inside. They resist asking for help, and judge themselves for not being able to do everything on their own and perfectly.
That’s where coaching can be so helpful. It’s not therapy, and it’s not consulting. It’s a collaborative partnership designed to help you get clear on what matters and take empowered action knowing that you have the inner wisdom to direct your own life. Coaching helps you to get unstuck and navigate the steps between where you are and where you want to be. More, it helps you get clear on where you truly want to be rather than where societal messages tell you that you should be.
A Future You Can Choose
Your future doesn’t have to look like your past. You don’t have to keep living a life that drains you. You have the ability to choose differently. To define what success means to you. To take the next step—not perfectly, but intentionally.
And no, you don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to start. Even the smallest strategies—like setting one boundary or taking one day off—can create momentum toward change.
Here are a few reflection questions that may help:
- What would it look like to prioritize your health in daily decisions?
- What important thing have you been putting off because of external pressure?
- Where in your workplace or family life do you need clearer boundaries?
- What feeling do you want to cultivate more of in your day-to-day life?
- What would a day look like that energizes rather than exhausts you?
Final Thoughts
Reclaiming your life is a process of reconnecting with who you are and what matters most to you. It’s about reuniting with your inner self after years of disconnection. It’s about building a fulfilling life that honors your physical and mental health, your values, and your humanity.
You don’t have to earn your worth. You don’t have to wait for everything to fall apart. You’re allowed to choose better now.
You are the expert of your own life—and the time to reclaim it is now.
Ready to Reclaim Your Life?
If Jillian’s story resonated with you, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to navigate this journey by yourself. As an executive coach and military veteran who has personally faced burnout, moral injury, and the pressure to overperform, Jillian Rigert brings deep empathy and hard-earned insight to her work with leaders across the country.
Whether you’re seeking to prevent burnout, find renewed meaning in your career, or lead with greater emotional intelligence, we’re here to support you.
Schedule a Conversation to learn more about working with Jillian or explore how Bridgeline Executive Coaching & Leadership Development can help you create a life and career rooted in purpose, well-being, and sustainable success.
